A very brief essay on the meaning of life

Bits and pieces of thought, in no particular order.

In lieu of Halloween I want to take some time to discuss some relevant topics of ghosts, death, and the like. I think it would be safe to say that we all carry a different concept of death.
Based on our life experiences and our encounters with it, an individual perspective of this inevitability has been formed. Some people believe that after death there is nothing- that death is merely the opposite of life, a state of pure nonexistence. Others believe in other ideologies- taught to them through religion, mythology, science, philosophy, et cetera. Many believe that death is not nonexistence, but the beginning of a new existence, or a continuation of the old existence. Some believe in reincarnation, that the energy or the soul of an individual will be manifested into a new living form, which the actions of their previous life will decide accordingly. Others believe in some notion of heaven or hell- and that our morality, and our 'goodness' will get us into the Utopian kingdom of heaven, while a life of evil doing and malice will lead us into a fiery eternal damnation. Of course, many believe in some mixture between all of these concepts- I myself, being one of them.

I believe death gives life meaning. Of course the role of death varies from culture to culture. Some cultures are more sensitive to the idea of death, while others are less. Some embrace it fully, while others isolate it from their lives. I've been studying the effects of death through research on suicide. I have my theories about death and the Western world in particular. Maybe it is our very 'civilization' that is making us become uncivilized. Here we experience a cleaner death, a more sanitary death. Less people are dying around us, people aren't being killed by the mass violence of war, people aren't slowly starving to death, people aren't dying on the streets from disease, people are not freezing to death due to lack of shelter. Now I realize that all of these things are happening in America, but the key word here is 'less'. Death here is more impersonal, we prepare, we purchase death insurance, we buy our burial plots- and then we quietly die- heads our nodded in due respect and everyone goes on their way. We don't want to inconvenience anyone here. If we are dying we are pushed into the shadows, so as to not discourage the living. Why? Why do we not take the time to really acknowledge death? Why do we not let it affect us? Is it because we don't have the time? Time. Maybe we're so busy delaying our deaths that we don't stop to really acknowledge life.

The existentialists say that, "Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom." I agree with this, but sometimes I wonder if there is more than one level of anxiety. Then again, I realize I may be simply saying the same thing. Citizens of our 1st world nations seem to increasingly suffer from a particular form of anxiety- a temporal anxiety- a constant need for productivity, a constant craving for progression and advancement and accomplishment. We value time. We get anxious because we have this deep fear of wasting time. We stay busy, and would rather constantly impose preemptive action rather than 'wasting time' recollecting, considering, being.

I fear that we become so busy with physical progression to make our existence more comfortable- with building and infrastructure, economics, politics, and technology- that we begin
to lose sight of each other, of humanity. This is why I've been so interested in the topic of suicide lately. There is an inescapable demand of your attention when a person chooses to take their own life- its aggressive, its personal, its an 'inconvenience'. For example, if we are to see a person killed in a car wreck, it is troubling for sure. But in this case we can consider them a victim of circumstance. We comfort ourselves through simple passive philosophies like everything happens for a reason and that it just may have been their time to go. But what happens when someone commits suicide, especially someone close? These simple philosophies no longer apply, there is no escape from questioning why. Death in the case of suicide is passive by no means- it is aggressive, a choice, a conscious action based on the will and desire of the person. Being confronted with the question of why a person would choose to die rather than live, can have a profound impact on a person, forcing them to aggressively question the meaning of life.

Do you know how they say in a haunted environment you will experience hot and cold spots, drastic changes in temperature? It is because when the spirits present try to manifest into a physical form, they do so by extracting the energy around them. Like ghosts, I think of death as a black hole, and life as the distance in between. I suppose its pessimistic to say, but I view life as a sort of slow death- a long realization and acceptance, a draining of all meaning, hope, and faith. Really, we are battling death everyday, fighting to not become nothing- and just because we continue to live does not necessarily mean that we've won.

A relevant story.

I was never afraid of much. When I was younger I was afraid of the dark, and I was also afraid to be alone. I could be alone but I always had something on, a radio, a tv, anything. I needed a constant connection to the outside world, so that I never felt completely isolated. The closest I've ever come to nightmares are waking dreams, like day dreams, only a lot of them were hallucinations- of abstract things like inhuman like motion, very slow and fluid, or very quick and jerky. And my 'monsters' or ghosts were never really detailed, never had horribly distorted features or anything, in fact they had no features at all. I've always had visions of large dark masses of energy. I suppose when I was younger I thought of them as 'furry' but they weren't so much furry as they were vibrating. They were really like black holes- something I was scared of because I was afraid to be sucked in by its energy and destroyed.

So the movie that has done the best tapping into my fears is the Japanese film Kairo or "Pulse". I watched it again tonight to see if it was as good as I remember it being the first time. At first after watching it I didn't feel that it was, but as the night has gone on I've been thinking about it more and more.

I can really relate to it. The movie is about a ghost invasion. I still don't think I've completely grasped the entire plot- but the characters begin to see video of ghosts on their computers. They reach us through the internet. The ghost invasion is sort of symbolic, it seems almost like a kind of philosophical sickness, and its contagious. People begin to disappear. Upon encountering a ghost, the people all fall into an all most trance like state of serious depression. They lose hope, and eventually either kill themselves, or just fade away into nothingness becoming ghosts themselves.
People are infected with hopelessness, because the ghost invasion overwhelms them with a feeling of isolation and loneliness. The movie does a really good job at generating that feeling within you too, you can feel the isolation.

The characters really interested me. The main characters who either killed themselves or faded away were the ones who at the beginning asked more questions and acknowledged right away what was going on. The characters who survived the longest appeared somewhat naive. Not only naive, but seemed to be often in denial.

I think this movie is very relevant to us. I've been studying suicide lately because I think it is the only method of death that really demands our attention and forces us to ask questions. But this act of 'giving up' I think can be contagious. And I started to think about the basic nature of any animal, and that is to keep surviving, to live and to multiply. To continue to manifest themselves and their species even if it seems pointless. But we are a more evolved species. We are a more intelligent species. But now I wonder that the more we evolve, the more intelligent we become, the more we stop depending on ideology such as our religions to validate the meaning of life- could this be our future? And then I realized, ironically, is that the only reason any of us keep going is because of this notion of hope. And its these seemingly 'naive' characters, the ones who refuse to acknowledge futility, that are able to survive.

So if we begin to really question the meaning of life, really obsess over it, what conclusions would we come to? It seems that the people of the 'civilized' world I mentioned earlier, who overlook death to get on with their business, who remain unaffected, they survive. They are not overtaken by the sadness, the absurdity, the chaos- they still struggle to impose order, to progress, to accomplish. Is this naivety and indifference to the most important philosophical question of all time what it takes to truly survive it? And if this is the case, are every single one of us living completely in bad faith? Is living in collectively living in bad faith, better than not living at all? Like I said, just because you stay alive doesn't mean you don't fail- an individual death can occur even while that individual is technically alive- "annihilation of the spirit", I believe they call it.

Will there ever come a day, when our intelligence has evolved to the point of which we begin to realize that existence is futile, and that we came from nothing, and will all inevitably become nothing again? This hopelessness is a sort of disease. I feel it. I feel it strongly, and often, especially as I get older. I go through these oscillations, and I've developed sort of bi-polar tendencies. Sometimes I'm more aware of my isolation, I don't feel anything because that feeling can never be validated, I can never be validated- I feel very sad. Other times I fight it so violently, and become crippled by emotion from trying to find that validation in other people, by striving to feel an element of 'togetherness'. I always end up back to that feeling of isolation, and I want to collapse within it and isolate myself completely but I feel this responsibility to continue to interact. If we all gave in to our isolation, if we all stop interacting with each other, if we all excuse existence as unimportant, we all all become unimportant, and we all turn to ghosts, we cease to exist.


Something else I thought was interesting, was the relevance of a computer program at the beginning of the movie. The program was suppose to be a model of our world, a representation of its chaotic nature. All it was really was a black screen with these tiny white dots floating around. The description was that when the dots are further apart, they want to be closer to each other, but when they come together, they die.

The randomization of the dots on the computer program I think I understand very well, as simple as it is. The dots are all alone but they are also collectively together in their individual solitude. They are alone, but they are the same. They want to become one, but they can't, or else their individual self dies- and so they just bounce off of each other- causing an eternal pattern of friction, of interaction, that is really that same hope that keeps us going.
















Nonetheless, entropy prevails.

The Concept of Freedom

The Concept of Freedom: Sartre, Plato, and Huxley's Brave New World.


“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” -Jean-Paul Sartre

The texts of Sartre, Plato, and Huxley all address what is undoubtedly the most desired element of all of human existence: freedom. Conveniently, all three texts have presented the notion of freedom in a very different light. Sartre, a prominent advocate of the Existentialist doctrine, references freedom in relation to subjectivity and inter-subjectivity, stressing not only the freedom of the individual but the freedom of all of man. On the other end of the spectrum is the work of Huxley, a humanist writer, who in Brave New World creates a hypothetical and futuristic dystopian society in lieu of freedom, which eliminates the importance of the individual through manipulation and conditioning. Plato depicts freedom metaphorically in the Allegory of the Cave as a process of awakening, of enlightenment, and of becoming. To me, these three representations of freedom depict the philosophical struggle between Nihilism and Existentialism. And not only do these correlating texts depict the struggle between the two doctrines, but they also delineate the common misrepresentation of Existentialism and its easy descent into Nihilism. I find this relevant as the primary objective of Existentialism is to apply meaning to life: utilizing ones freedom- whereas Nihilism is the state of nothingness, the annihilation of the spirit, and therefore the denying of ones freedom.

In Huxley's Brave New World the societal goal is a universal happiness. This universal happiness is attained through the abolition of family, natural birth, negative emotions, discomfort, individuality, and even love. Ironically, in this attempt at a trans human society, the very essence of humanity itself has been completely eliminated in order to create a more 'humane' civilization. Perhaps the biggest problem of this dystopian society is the wide spread and encouraged use of the drug soma. Of course the people do not see soma as a problem; on the contrary, they see it as the solution to their problems. People use soma on a regular basis to monitor their state of being and maintain a state of stasis. Soma is not like some other drugs, it does not enhance ones senses, nor does it induce a heightened state of creativity or intellect. Soma is no less than any other opiate, somewhat relative to heroin which causes people to be merely content with their emptiness rather than to fill it. The use of soma results in a numbing of the mind, body, and spirit- essentially forcing people into a zombie like state. The citizens, through conditioning and the use of soma, have eluded feelings of depression, discontent, and anxiety: evoking a more comfortable and apathetic state of indifference. Furthermore, the citizens also fail to engage in the other extremity of emotion, the highest of which in our case is love. It may seem easy to rid ourselves of emotions such as hate, or unhappiness, but on the other hand, when we rid ourselves of these emotions that we deem negative, unpleasant- we also rid ourselves of their positive counterparts. Without hate or unhappiness, what good are love and joy?
Human emotion should not be regarded as a system of opposites, as they cannot exist independently of each other, but rather are co-dependent. You cannot place them side by side and say, "This one is good, and this one is bad." As far as I am concerned the two emotions are intertwined, and the only emotion that lies in the negative energy spectrum is indifference, the lack of emotion.We love because we fear meaninglessness. In love, we find validation- validation of meaning, validation of life, validation of the existence of ourselves and others as well as importance it that existence. And so without the acceptance of love, and the acceptance of its counterpart, all of human emotion ceases to exist.
The citizens of Brave New World are conditioned, manipulated, and brainwashed in a way that will allow them to more effectively serve and contribute to the general happiness of the community as a whole. They are stripped of their individuality; they are only part of the whole and nothing more. The citizens are born into a pre-determined caste system, which they can never escape. This natural born oppression however induces little feelings of unrest or discontent, as even the lowest classes of society are encouraged to use soma. The soma provides them with an inauthentic happiness, which in turn evades any desire for revolt or change, making them not so much unaware, as comfortable with their lack of freedom.
In Brave New World history is non existent, there is no past to learn from. It makes sense, as what use could 'Utopian's' possibly have for history? If the acme of human civilization has all ready been acquired, than history is irrelevant. The problem here is that there is no longer a need for progression. Salvation has all ready occurred, and there may be no past to learn from, but there is also now nothing to look forward to. The future is predetermined and there is no need for creation. The citizens of Brave New World remain in a state of unknowing despair, in a state of hopelessness where there is no room for growth. They have misinterpreted the goal of human existence, placing the lot of their values into the idea of happiness. However, there is more value in freedom than in happiness. In fact, it could be inferred that freedom is not only the highest of human values, but the only essential human value. With freedom we have the freedom to be either happy or sad, to love or to hate, both of which vindicates the other. Freedom means freedom of choice, and I believe that oftentimes the word freedom is misappropriated. It seems that commonly people believe that the key to freedom is to be free from responsibility. However, this is untrue. In fact, there is a profound responsibility that lies within freedom, and it is this responsibility which makes it so difficult for so may to embrace. The people responsible for the disingenuous state of being in Brave New World, though they may have meant to free humanity, have actually acted in bad faith, and have thus killed it.
Even the controller (Mustapha Mond) recognizes the futility of the dystopian society, which is made apparent in his comments on Bernard's plea not to be exiled to Iceland. "One would think he was going to have his throat cut. Whereas, if he had the smallest sense, he'd understand that his punishment is really a reward. He's being sent to an island. That's to say, he's being sent to a place where he'll meet the most interesting set of men and women to be found anywhere in the world. All the people who, for one reason or another, have got too self-consciously individual to fit into community life. All the people who aren't satisfied with orthodoxy, who've got independent ideas of their own. Everyone, in a word, who's anyone..."
The citizens of Brave New World have eliminated meaning from their lives. They live Nihilistically, and have chosen to deny their freedom, sacrificing it instead for an inauthentic state of happiness. Such a dystopian society as that depicted in Brave New World would deeply discontent the likes of Sartre and the other Existentialists. I believe that he also would find this illusion of happiness as presented in Brave New World to be completely nonsensical. As I said before, about freedom being not only the highest of human values, but the only essential human value, Sartre affirms this in the following passage: “When I declare that freedom in every concrete circumstance can have no other aim than to want itself, if man has once become aware that in his forlornness he imposes values, he can no longer want but one thing, and that is freedom, as the basis of all values.” Even in the citizens illusive happiness; that forlornness, despair, and hopelessness has not been eliminated, it is only being avoided. They have chosen not to embrace their existence, and to sacrifice their freedom to a higher power (society in this case) so they do not have to undertake any sort of responsibility. With this sacrifice they have also lost the ability to be human, to feel, to create, and to choose. Simone de Beauvoir, a colleague and close friend of Sartre, once said that, “Freedom requires moral courage.” With that said, from an Existentialist point of view the citizens of Brave New World in fact created quite the opposite, they use illusions and methods of escapism to live authentically, and there is nothing courageous about their world.

There is a Nietzschean quote that I believe ties the representations of Sartre, Plato, and Huxley together, and that is this: “I praise, I do not reproach, [nihilism's] arrival. I believe it is one of the greatest crises, a moment of the deepest self-reflection of humanity. Whether man recovers from it, whether he becomes master of this crisis, is a question of his strength!” – Friedrich Nietzsche, Complete Works Vol. 13. If Brave New World is a representation of a Nihilistic society, and Sartre represents Existentialist ideals, than Plato's Allegory of the Cave represents a persons struggle with enlightenment and the choice between the two- the crisis and self reflection that Nietzsche references.
The line, “To them, I said, the truth would be literally nothing but the shadows of the images,” from The Allegory is relevant, as the shadows are only presumed truths. The citizens of Brave New World find value and meaning only in happiness, but their happiness is only a projected happiness; an illusion, an inauthentic and generic emotion. The quest for freedom is difficult. Though freedom does not need to be found, per se (it is all ready inherent) it is embracing the responsibility within it that people find to be so difficult. I believe that Plato sums up this struggle of embracing freedom in the following lines: "And now look again, and see what will naturally follow if the prisoners are released and disabused of their error. At first, when any of them is liberated and compelled suddenly to stand up and turn his neck round and walk and look towards the light, he will suffer sharp pains; the glare will distress him, and he will be unable to see the realities of which in his former state he had seen the shadows; and then conceive some one saying to him, that what he saw before was an illusion, but that now, when he is approaching nearer to being and his eye is turned towards more real existence, he has a clearer vision, -what will be his reply? And you may further imagine that his instructor is pointing to the objects as they pass and requiring him to name them, -- will he not be perplexed? Will he not fancy that the shadows which he formerly saw are truer than the objects which are now shown to him?” I think that these lines are a perfect metaphor for the awakening of an individual and their decision to embrace both truth and freedom. As the prisoner ascends from the confinement of the cave, and into the light, he finds truth, and in that truth he finds freedom. The prisoners’ quest could be seen as the common quest of the Existentialist. The line, “At first, when any of them is liberated and compelled suddenly to stand up and turn his neck round and walk and look towards the light, he will suffer sharp pains; the glare will distress him?” can be related to another quote of a well known Existentialist, Soren Kierkegaard in his saying, “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” And what does this mean? It means that this process of becoming is certainly difficult, and many people would choose to avoid these 'anxieties' that freedom causes by sacrificing it rather than embracing it.
The prisoner has broken free of his restraints, and as his eyes adjust in the light, begins to see clearly. Eventually all of the manipulation, conditioning, and illusions of truth he had once known he now sees as they are- shadows of the images. But still he struggles- the line, “will he not be perplexed? Will he not fancy that the shadows which he formerly saw are truer than the objects which are now shown to him?” shows that even after the prisoner has seen reality, he still struggles to disassociate himself with what he has been conditioned to believe. It is easy to give way to conditioning, so that we can then leave the responsibility in the hands of a higher authority. It is much easier to accept the values that one has been handed, rather than to create and validate ones own meaning. Our emotional responses are based on value. When we value nothing, we lose our ability to respond emotionally, and we then lose the very essence of what makes us human.
Both Brave New World and Sartre's Existentialism were written roughly within a close proximity of each other. I consider both texts to be a cry, a noble attempt to make people aware of their error, and of the realm of destruction in which society is bordering. Sartre writes in a matter-of-fact sense, lightly making people aware of their possible philosophical short comings, and offering solutions for them. Huxley uses Brave New World as a borderline scare tactic, by proposing the hypothetical destination of the path we are (or were) on. Brave New World was written close to a century ago, and what worries me most is the similarities between the world presented in the novel, and the world that I currently live in. We have become self proclaimed victims; victims of society, victims of each other, victims of ourselves, victims of chemical imbalance. After all what more is Prozac, Lithium, and a slew of other prescription drugs than a modern day fabrication of Soma? Why do we insist on numbing ourselves? Do we really believe that happiness is as simple as a script and a bottle? Is there really happiness in this? Is there really freedom in this? I don't believe so. I don't believe that there is even freedom in happiness. Happiness comes from oppression, even of the self. When we choose to numb ourselves to the absence of feeling we are oppressing what makes us human. No, there is no freedom in this. The path we are on is dangerously close to that of Brave New Wold. In a land which claims to be the land of the free and the home of the brave, it is time to take initiative to be so. There are no shortcuts on the path to enlightenment, to truth, to freedom. Freedom requires bravery, and this quest is the most epic of human action.

flaws of feminism

Higamus, hogamus
woman's monogamous
hogamus, hugamus
man is polygamous
-william james

Problems
Puratinism, fairy tales, victorian culture
-Some women would rather be treated as sexual objects than be canonized. Women don't like being romanticized or idealized any more than they like being insulted or humiliated.
Imitation of men
-There is far too much imitation of men in the womens movement. That is merely a displacement of power.
-All they succeed in doing is reversing roles. Women have become the predator, the aggressor, But nothing is ultimately changed by this.

Generalization
-slogans do not give strength because generalizations are untrue. Many intelligent women for a work for which some are unfit is not effective. The group does not always give strength, because it moves on according to the lowest denominator of understanding. The group weakens the individual will and annihilates the individual contribution. To object to individual growth of awareness in women is to work against the benefit of the collective whose quality is raised by individual research and learning.
-We ignore the fact that the evil comes from individual flaws, undeveloped human beings.
-Group thinking does not give strength. It weakens the will. Majority thinking is oppressive because it inhibits individual growth and seeks a formula for all.

Victimization and Self Destruction
Women have suffered at the mercy of patriarchy for hundreds of years; physically, emotionally, and mentally. Physical pain however, is temporary. It is the mental oppression, the social conditioning which manipulates our idea of femininity, that greatly concerns me. These false ideas of what it means to be a woman, are passed on from generation to generation. It is learned when daughters mimic mothers, it is learned through archaic fairy tales, it is learned through media representation, it is learned through tradition and religion, it is learned through manipulation. Above all, and the saddest realization to me, is that it is not men who are doing this. The oppression of women is self inflicted. We, as women, are denying our own freedom.

-Each woman has to know herself, her problems, her obstacles. I ask woman to realize she can be master of her own destiny. To blame others means one feels helpless. While we wait for others to free us, we will not develop the strength to do it ourselves. When a woman has not solved her personal intimate defeats, her private hostilities, her failures, she brings the dregs of this to the group and only increases its negative reactions. The real tyrants are guilt, taboos, educational inheritance- these are our enemies. The real enemy is what we were taught, not always by man, but often by our mothers and grandmothers.
Karpman drama triangle,

• The person who is treated as, or accepts the role of, a victim
• The person who pressures, coerces or persecutes the victim, and
• The rescuer, who intervenes out of an ostensible wish to help the situation or the underdog.

"I was right not to be afraid of any thief but myself, who will end by leaving me nothing." ~Katherine Anne Porter
-(35 years ago) The woman of the future will never try to live vicariously through the man, and urge and push him to despair, to fulfill something that she should really be doing herself.
- If we take the responsibility for our situation, we can feel less helpless than when we put the blame on man or society. We waste precious energy in negative rebellions.
-They missed authority, the very thing they had struggled to overcome. Women as dependents.


Resentment and Nihilism- The viscous circle of oppression.
"Philosophy based on resentment"
Anxiety of the woman.
-The fear is in women, not in men, but it was learned from men.
Karpman Drama Triangle
-Women must stop reacting against what is.
"When we abolish the slavery of half of humanity, together with the whole system of hypocrisy that it implies, then the 'division' of humanity will reveal its genuine significance and the human couple will find its true form." -Simone de Beauvoir "The Second Sex"

misandry- hatred of males

misogyny- hatred or distrust of women

elitism
monolithic-characterized by massiveness, total uniformity, rigidity, invulnerability

Power struggles.

-There is no liberation of one group at the expense of another. Liberation can only come totally, and in unison.
-How can an intelligent, creative, original woman relate to men of genius without being submerged by them? The conflict of the woman's wish to merge with the loved one but to maintain a separate identity is the struggle of modern women.
"Heroes"
-Too intelligent to be deceived, too wise and too proud to be subjected to this display of power which did not protect them but endangered their existence as individuals.

Reconstruction
-The day that woman admits what we call her masculine qualities, and man admits his so called feminine qualities, will mean that we admit we are androgynous , that we have many personalities, many sides to fulfill.
-Man has been uneasy about this self revolution of woman, but he need not be-because, instead of having a dependent, he will have a partner.
-Not consumed by the passions of romantics which made them prefer death to the loss of love (Lou Andreas- Salome)
-She preserved her autonomy while surrounded by powerful, even overpowering men.
-She took her pattern of life from men but she was not a masculine woman. She demanded the freedom to change, to evolve, to grow.
-They had learned the subtle art of oscillation, which is human. Neither strength nor weakness is a fixed quality. They had learned rhythm, suppleness, relativity.
-The offer of total love was unusual. A love without egocentricity, without exigencies, without moral strictures. A love which did not define the duties of women.
-She is not yet totally appreciative of his tenderness, his growing proximity to woman, his attitude of twinship rather than differentiation.

sincerely, America.

Dear Loyalty,

(that suffered a sharp pang)

War and peace has brought their changes and great anxieties,

the face of the earth was furrowed by floods and fire,

the faces of mistress and maid were furrowed by smiles and tears...

I could never have accorded myself with a tearful mood.

For they loved me desperately.

When I frowned they trembled, but loved me.

When I smiled, they asked no greater blessing of God.”

You must pardon my tears-

It was the revulsion of feeling.

As if society had nothing left to do but grow old and get ready for the winter.

It was a singular beginning,

... and in the sky the stars shone on as if nothing had happened.

See gentle patience smile on pain

The devil that lurks in every strong man's blood leaped up-

He put his hand upon his brother's throat

Slavery's black shadow seemed to darken all the world

'Don't let us disturb you', I said. 'There is plenty of room for us all.'

Instead of darkening, the haunted landscape began to brighten.

I was tired.

I was hungry.

I was everything but discouraged.

Of my ancestry I know almost nothing.

They have spent the best days of their lives in slavery.

Physical freedom, political power-

all these in turn have waxed and waned,

until even the last grows dim and overcast.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Will America be poorer if her coarse and cruel wit

be replaced with loving jovial good humor?

There are to-day no truer exponents of the pure human spirit

of the Declaration of Independence than the American Negroes.

Freedom ain't free if a man ain't free

Were you there when they nailed him to a tree?

I didn't realize I was crying until I tasted my tears in my mouth.

I have come after them and made repair.

A period of introspection, a space of retrospection, then a mixture of both.

Out of this an awful calm.

The great belt on the wheel of time slipped

and eternity stood still.

“You are very happy are you not, with youth, health, friends, riches, fame?”

Pity not this busy monster, mankunkind

Don't say that everything within is Western styled.

Even if it is built of jade, it has turned into a cage.

If you had a foresight, you should have regretted coming here.

Now you will be forever sad and forever resentful.

so much depends

upon

good fences.

Good fences make good neighbors.

(And that has made all the difference.)

And are American little boys the best little boys? -James p.283

How do you like your blueeyed boy

Mister Death?

I should have been a pair of ragged claws.

One day anyone died I guess

whose drown face sleeps with open eyes

who might have made the leap, not as a leap

but a succession of brief,

amazing movements.

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions

which a minute will reverse.

But the hushing of the criticism of honest opponents is a dangerous thing.

I still have a dream.

I know that even death could not destroy your ambition.

O my enemy. Do I terrify?

Wherever you see them, run, because they hate you.

My tears are now hushed and faint.

But the crying begins all over again.

Children screaming under the subways!

Boys sobbing in armies!

Old men weeping in the parks!

the lessons badly learned

I came to explore the wreck

I came to the see the damage that was done

everyone has died at once

There is a revolution going on.

Look at the horizon and listen.

The woods are full of wardens.

where you going?

no walking.

no running.

no standing.

The police is men in black who get kids and send them to Tijuana.

I don't feel good don't bother me.

Today the headlines clot in my blood.

Who calls anyone civilized?

My children are hungry and the animals

who live in the backyard are starving.

There is somebody new killed everyday.

People had to share food.

People got sick.

People cried all kinds of tears.

O Starry- spangled shock of mercy

Rise up! There is no limit to this dust!

War and peace with nothing in between.

All you lost during that war was sleep

because you stayed up all night watching CNN.

We wait for the easiest vision

A book of myths in which our names do not appear.

I've seen actual news footage.

The eternal war is here.

Natural and Civil Rights: Paine and Handlin

As far as I am concerned, though they are not always upheld to the fullest extent of which they should be, America was founded on the same ideas as those of Paine and Handlin. Thomas Paine alone had a tremendous impact on the evolution of this country. While the United States was still in a state of infancy, Common Sense was a widespread phenomenon- addressing rather profound yet obvious points. Also, the concept of natural rights has maintained a strong hold in this country since its creation. The Declaration of Independence makes this apparent with it’s ending statement, that every individual has the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” all of which would be considered ‘God-given’ rights. Not only that, but civil rights are addressed as well, stating that, “All men are created equal.” So why then, are these concepts of natural and civil rights even debatable? Why is it that a country founded on the recognition of these natural rights struggles still to uphold them? Why is it that a country who clearly says that, “All men are created equal,” has struggled through a Civil War, the civil rights movement, the women’s suffrage movement, and others? Why is it that lower class immigrants have been taken advantage of and have been neglected these same rights? Why is socio-economic status so debilitating, and the cycle of poverty nearly impossible to escape? What do these movements have in common with the views of Paine and Handlin? It is civil disobedience- the belief that people have a responsibility to be loyal to themselves and struggle to uphold and fight for these God-given rights in which they are being denied. A government sometimes struggles to maintain public order, and what they would consider to be a state of ‘peace’. Unfortunately, so often it seems that rather than public order or so sublime an ideal of peace- that they are struggling to maintain an illusion. Thoreau wrote a great deal on civil disobedience, and he was not the first or last to say, “That government is best which governs least.” I agree with this, and I also believe that the government’s inevitable desire for control correlates with Handlin’s relation of ship masters and captains to Plato’s ‘players’. It is often said that there is so much going on within the government that we will never know, if for no other reason than to prevent widespread panic and paranoia. Nonetheless, we are manipulated through mass media and other outlets everyday, sometimes blatantly, but more often than not very subtly- unaware that we are even being influenced. Take the current presidential campaign for example, politicians often disgust me, even the most initially sincere tend to sell-out. There is little to no authenticity in the world of politics, and I find this to be very dangerous. The political world is a show, and these politicians are all tap dancers putting on a show- ventriloquist dolls and puppets, having others speak for them and pulling their strings. Illusions, used to manipulate the citizens of a noble country who do not deserve to be lied to. The government promotes ideas of patriotism and nationalism, which will aid in the blind following of their ideals rather than the truer concept of what is right, and morally appeasing to all; no matter what race, religion, nation, et cetera. The bureaucrats of today act as players, and these shadows of the images they present us with, are often oppressing- diversions which distract us from the truth. The “American Dream” for example, an illusion, a perfectly crafted ideal in which we are conditioned to not just live up to, but to desire to do so. And why is this- because it fits in perfectly to the scheme of Christian conservative capitalism. If we were however, to realize this, to acknowledge it and more importantly to react to it, than perhaps we could break free of this conditioning. I feel that there are many more revolutions in the future of America. There are many more obstacles to overcome, and unfortunately the fight for freedom and life and happiness for all may never be concluded. It is those simple and obvious teachings of those like Paine and Handlin that are simple and obvious yes, but are profound in the sense that they provide us with recognition of what we all ready know to be true. They cause us to want to defend these rights at all costs. So long as we maintain awareness, and choose to see through the illusions- so can we do a much finer job at upholding these natural and civil rights, not only for ourselves, but for all of humanity.

12 Angry Men in Relation to Plato

12 Angry Men in Relation to Plato

“To them, I said, the truth would be literally nothing but the shadows of the images-”

It is my opinion that the concepts presented in the plot of 12 Angry Men can best be correlated with the concepts presented in Plato's The Allegory of the Cave. While the concepts of The Allegory of the Cave are metaphorical, they can very easily be related to those that are literal in 12 Angry Men. Both stories are about social conflict, and minority influence. They both present ideas about enlightenment and truth; exposing the danger and irresponsibility that can be found so often in collective thinking. Maybe it is also possible that because the main character of 12 Angry Men (Juror #8) uses the Socratic method of inquiry to change the minds of the others, perhaps this is why I find it easy to relate the writings of Plato (having been a student of Socrates) to the theme of 12 Angry Men.

Both the main characters in The Allegory- as well as in 12 Angry Men seem to have much in common with each other. Juror #8 was the only juror who initially did not vote guilty, stating that he could not send a boy off to die without at least further deliberation. He took a noble stand, and it was his composure, logical analysis, and inquisition of accuracy and reliability which sets the stage for the rest of the story. He determined that there was a 'reasonable doubt' in his mind that the boy may not be guilty, and despite the brash and angry criticisms of his fellow jurors, he did not abandon his stance on the matter. Also, when the other jurors voted guilty, leaving him the minority in an 11 to 1 vote- he could have chosen to go with the status quo, but refused to give in as a means to an end. What differentiates this particular juror from the others, is that he saw their decision as a responsibility to justice which he was not willing to sacrifice. Because of this, the juror found himself using minority influence to slowly change the minds of the majority, through the consistency in his arguments but also the grace in which he embraced the other jurors way of thinking. In The Allegory of the Cave upon his return, the prisoner who had escaped also faced a grueling majority and their differing outlook, finding himself in a similar situation and moral dilemma. Just as Juror #8 did not blindly conform, in truth and reason there is no turning back, just as in The Allegory Plato states, “Imagine once more, I said, such as one coming suddenly out of the sun to be replaced in his old situation; would he not be certain to have his eyes full of darkness?”

The cave in the story represents a prison, a confined area in which the people know nothing outside of. In relating the cave itself to 12 Angry Men it does not exist in a physical sense, but again in a metaphorical sense- a frame of mind. The cave represents the box, as in- the jurors were confined in their own shallow thinking, and therefore were not thinking 'outside the box'. The main character of The Allegory wandered up and outside of the cave, just as the main character of 12 Angry Men was the only one to 'think outside of the box'. Though both had a larger perspective on truth and reality, they had a difficult time attempting to present this perspective to the others (the prisoners/ those not thinking outside the box). Just as the other jurors thought that Juror #8 was being absurd, so did the prisoners of the cave: “And if there were a contest, and he had to compete in measuring the shadows with the prisoners who had never moved out of the den, while his sight was still weak, and before his eyes had become steady (and the time which would be needed to acquire this new habit of sight might be very considerable) would he not be ridiculous?”

The main character of The Allegory tried to show the other prisoners that the shadows they saw were not realities; that they were only illusions and that their focus on them and not beyond them was denying them of the truth. “If a prisoner says “That’s a book” he thinks that the word “book” refers to the very thing he is looking at. But he would be wrong. He’s only looking at a shadow. The real referent of the word “book” he cannot see. To see it, he would have to turn his head around.” In 12 Angry Men the evidence in the case can also be viewed as shadows. The evidence is one perception, but that does not necessarily mean that is the correct perception, nor does it mean that it is even relevant. Juror #8 felt an obligation to 'save' the other jurors from presumed truths, and to open their eyes to other possibilities, all the while with respect to their own views, beliefs, and even blind assumptions. This same attitude of empathy was also demonstrated in The Allegory, as the freed prisoner chooses willingly to go back and attempt to enlighten and 'free' the other prisoners, even against all odds.

At the beginning of 12 Angry Men after the judge dismisses the jurors from the court room in order to go deliberate, he first says this; “If there's a reasonable doubt in your minds as to the guilt of the accused, a reasonable doubt, then you must bring me a verdict of not guilty. If however, there is no reasonable doubt, then you must in good conscience find the accused guilty. However you decide, your verdict must be unanimous. In the event that you find the accused guilty, the bench will not entertain a recommendation for mercy. The death sentence is mandatory in this case. You are faced with a grave responsibility. Thank you, gentlemen.” As I said, Juror #8 was the only man who did not jump to conclusions and hence, the only man who took the responsibility as seriously as it is intended. After the prisoner in The Allegory breaks free, he embraces that freedom, but yet feels obligated still to go back and try to free the others. Here freedom and responsibility are not antonymous by any means, as there is a responsibility within freedom. What the two characters in both stories share, is summed up in the teachings of both Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, with the argument that- “Freedom requires moral courage.”

Common Crisis of Man

The great philosophers of old once asked themselves the most important philosophical question we can ask yourselves, "Is life worth living?"

Lately I have carried with me a constant confusion, and at times, a terror slightly beyond that of my consistent anxiety. This fear comes from a surmounting feeling of hopelessness- that perhaps everything that I had previously believed would make me happy, and have been conditioned to believe would make me happy, will not. And if these illusions of happiness will not make me happy, what will? Some would say that once the illusions are eliminated, all that can be left is truth. That may be a possibility, but is there happiness in that truth? Nevertheless what first proceeds this truth is an incredible state of confusion. And now that I find myself suddenly so confused, I worry. I worry because I see this procession of human thought as linear. It is linear because we are first raised with fantasies, and illusions, and conditioned to believe that these ideas presented are both what we need as well as what we want. It seems to me, that many people never abandon this state of mind; that their thinking never evolves into a state of inquisition because any questioning will upset the fragile balance of their happiness, even if it is an illusion. So now I have to ask myself what is more important? When I find myself deceiving myself, and choosing to believe not what I know to be true, but what I wish to believe is true- I do find myself happier. Oftentimes the truth is not pleasing. However, the illusions I create through denial are bound not to last, setting me back even further down the road, coming to the same conclusions I have all ready come to but chosen not to acknowledge.
This linear procession of human thought, operates on states of consciousness. We live in a world of varied consciousness. While some are awake, others are still asleep, and some are in this process of awakening. The state of sleep, in this metaphorical sense, is just the same as it is in it's physical sense. The thought process during sleep operates on dreams, illusions, fantasies- they are not what we would traditionally refer to as 'real'. Ralph Ellison does a good job describing these people in his story The Invisible Man. He says, "I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me...When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination-indeed everything and anything except me." These people he refers to are the sleepwalkers- those who have not yet awoke into a state of awareness. The sleepwalkers have poor vision, often bumping into him (who is awake) and he finds himself inadvertently pushing them back. He tells a story in which he near beat a man to death for bumping into him on the street and refusing to apologize. His excessive violence stemmed from the resentment he had acquired all this time of not being 'seen'. He resorted to violence in an attempt to demand that people recognize his existence. After near beating the man to death he looked down at him and suddenly realized that it was not his fault, he was a sleepwalker and he simply did not see him. After this discovery, Ellison now says, "I remember that I am invisible and walk softly so as not to awaken the sleeping ones. Sometimes it is best not to awaken them: there are few things in the world as dangerous as sleepwalkers."
What it is like to be awake on the other hand, I do not know. I imagine that it is a state of pure being, of actualization and awareness: A state of clear vision, where the truth can be seen, and differentiated from the falsities of this world. I do not know, because I have not experienced this. Instead, I find myself in that transition period. Stuck in not a state but a process. I'm not asleep, but not quite awake either. My confusion comes from when the dreams and the illusions that have not yet completely escaped my mind, are mixed with the authenticity (I would get in trouble for saying 'reality') of a conscious state of mind. So here I am, waking up, but not yet quite sure, not yet completely able to differentiate what is authentic, from what is an illusion. Or, then again, maybe I have. And I think that I have, merely because I find myself now suddenly more afraid than I have ever been. Or at least, I find myself suddenly courageous enough to admit these fears. Now this is where I have began to become worried. There are one of two things that can happen to me now. Because this process of awakening is linear, it is not a possibility for me to ever go back the way I came. Or I could go back, but in doing so I would be greatly betraying myself and others, and it would require much cowardice and lack of integrity to do so. So instead, I could become lost in my confusion, descending into hopelessness and meaninglessness, and never escaping from this state of mind, as though it were quicksand. This quicksand I suppose, is a sort of Nihilism, and it has not yet completely sucked me down because I have not abandoned the concepts of meaning and value- to me my existence still has both. However, in my struggle to let go of the illusions, I fear that there can be little happiness in my future. Now I find myself afraid that the things I find meaningful, or once found meaningful, were part of the illusion, and as they dissipate, so then does meaning.
Heidegger and Camus say that, "The only reality is 'anxiety' in the whole chain of beings. To the man lost in the world and its diversions this anxiety is a brief, fleeting fear. But if that fear becomes conscious of itself, it becomes anguish, the perpetual climate of the lucid man in whom existence is concentrated." These fears of my own have recently been outed, and acknowledged, and so I find myself a subtle step closer to solving this 'problem'. But then I worry again, because as I find myself in the exact state of mind that Heidegger and Camus explained, Heidegger says also that, "The world can no longer offer anything to the man filled with anguish." It is during this period, as Camus explains, that the question of suicide frequently becomes an issue and he asks, "Is one to die voluntarily or to hope in spite of everything?"
This anguish must be able to be defeated, as those who have awoke have overcome it before. As I dismantle the illusions, as everything I've been conditioned to believe in falls away, in order to not slip into a state of reckless abandon- is my only option to have hope? Is the only option to believe that after I recover from this transition that I can still find meaning in this world- "in spite of everything?"
Throughout my life I have found myself not so much unhappy, but even in happiness always possessing an underlying feeling of discontent. I do not mean discontent in the sense that I was unsatisfied with what I had, or was concerned in wanting. What I mean rather is that what I had been told and made to believe as 'truths' did not satisfy me. They were never enough to make me ever cease to stop asking questions. There were times when I was about nineteen or so, that I would stop at the state park on my way home from work. I got there around dawn and I would sit and watch the sun rise reflect over the lake, this was my favorite place to gather my thoughts. This was during a very happy period in my life, when my heart had felt lighter than it had in years. Sometimes I even had my guitar with me, and would sit and play and sing. What may seem strange and contrary to this memory however, is that this lake had a dam, which I use to sit on the ledge of and stare down below. Even in these most lucid moments of happiness, I would let my feet dangle over the ledge of this dam and found myself wondering how far down it was. I wondered if I were to leap from the edge what would happen. The water was shallow, but was the moss too soft? But more importantly, I thought of all the reasons why I should not choose to leap from the edge. It is strange though, that at a period when I know that I was so happy, when standing on the brink of death I still did not hesitate to contemplate. I wonder, if I were to go back to that spot, and throw my feet over the edge and stare into the ravine below, what conclusions would I come too? Perhaps that is the thing to do, maybe everything that is meaningful, that will transcend this period of confusion and hopelessness will make itself apparent. Maybe it won't. Either way I am determined to survive.