Where are you going, where have you been?

Literature Journal 4

Where are You Going, Where Have You Been?

By Joyce Carol Oates

Examine the ways in which the story Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? develops its characters. For example, what narrative techniques does it use to explore the character’s thoughts?

The author uses a variety of literary and narrative techniques in telling the story and relating the characters. The story is very scenic, so that the action of the story can be closely followed and is easily understood by the reader. The attitude portrayed by Connie is both relevant and believable. The qualities of Connie's character are portrayed in a near discursive manner, plainly stated and emphasized in the beginning paragraphs of the story. Arnold on the other hand, is a more dramatic character whose disposition in the story is used to create suspense. Arnold is a more eclectic character, and his qualities are unfolded as he speaks and acts. His actions and statements are out of the ordinary, and are more dramatically received because no background information was offered on him.

The author used a great deal of sensory detail and imagery throughout the story, just enough to maintain an element of suspense without causing the reader to lose train of thought. This detail of the story, especially in the beginning, helps to emphasize the superfluous nature of Connie and her lifestyle.

The author also uses juxtaposition to more greatly distinguish the qualities of Connie versus the rest of her family, particularly her sister. In the beginning, Connie's mother compares her to her sister with questions and statements such as, “Why don't you keep your room clean like your sister?” and “You don't see your sister using that junk (Oates, 501).” This is a recurring theme throughout the story. The character of Arnold also uses juxtaposition to try to lure Connie to him, by contrasting her so greatly to her sister through lines such as, “There's your sister in a blue dress, huh? And high heels, the poor sad bitch- nothing like you, sweetheart (Oates, 507)!” This juxtaposition serves as a mechanism to more distinctly set the main character (Connie) apart from the other characters of the story.

I also noticed that the author used a framing device halfway through the story, in regards to the house and its surroundings. When Connie opens her eyes after she has been tanning, she suddenly sees her surroundings differently. “...When she opened her eyes she hardly knew where she was, the back yard ran of into weeds and a fence line of tress and behind it the sky was perfectly blue and still. The asbestos 'ranch house' that was now three years old startled her-it looked small (Oates, 503).” She sees the house as small, and the yard as unimpressive and unfamiliar. This is again referenced in the last lines of the story with, “...so much land that Connie had never seen before and did not recognize except to know that she was going to it (Oates, 511).”

The perception of Connie's surroundings halfway through the story could also be interpreted as foreshadowing, another common theme present in the story. The most particular element of foreshadowing was both the statements made by Arnold earlier in the story, and Connie's perception of him. When Connie passed Arnold earlier in the story, he had uttered the words, “Gonna get you, baby (Oates, 502),” which only Connie had heard or noticed. This is somewhat ironic because in the end of the story Connie was again alone with only herself conscious of Arnold's presence, it was almost as if he were haunting her throughout the story.

There is also a minor theme of poetic justice presented. It seems so, due to the fact that Connie's vanity was so exaggerated throughout the story. And in the end, Connie's vanity became possibly quite literally, the death of her.

Everyday Use

Literature Journal 3

Everyday Use

by Alice Walker

Examine the function of the quilt as a symbol.

The quilt represents a number things including primarily, heritage. The quilt was first brought to light as a symbol by Dee, who most certainly regards the quilt as an object that represents her heritage. She finds sentimental value in the quilt and firmly believes that the only way to honor her heritage is through its preservation. Mama on the other hand, does not see the quilt as necessarily an object of heritage, but as simply a material object. Mama wishes to give the quilts not to Dee, but to Maggie as a wedding gift. Dee is upset at this because she feels that Maggie does not have the capacity to fully utilize the quilts as heirlooms, but instead will use them for 'everyday use'. Maggie insists that she does not mind if Dee takes the quilts, as she says in the story, “ She can have them, Mama; I can ‘member Grandma Dee without the quilts (Walker,93).” The quilt also somewhat represents differentiation and values, as well as differentiation in values. Dee and her mother and Maggie all appreciate and value their heritage, but have different methods of doing so. Maggie and Dee both think in terms of different philosophies. Dee has chosen items as heirlooms to represent her heritage. She has chosen a fake name. She has chosen flamboyant clothing. Heritage has become materialistic to Dee. Dee is upset at her mother for not understanding the value of the quilts, but this is a misconception on Dee's behalf. It seems that as represented through her behavior, Dee is the one who does not truly understand the value of the quilts. She understands the value of the quilts as objects but she does not fully recognize the very intrinsic value she speaks of. This is apparent in Dee's comments to Maggie as she departs, “It's really a new day for us. But from the way you and Mama still live you'd never know it (Walker 93).” Dee was always very modern, very progressive, and ready for a new and different life. However, what Dee does not realize is that both Maggie and Mama's heritage show through their work and their demeanor. Everyday Use is the title because Maggie and Mama utilize their heritage everyday, unlike Dee. Tradition differs from heritage. Heritage is a trait, tradition is a practice. Maggie knows how to make her own quilts, and she has acquired this skill from the teachings of her grandmother. The skill Maggie has attained from her ancestors transcends the material value of the quilts. Mama finally realizes the gifts that Maggie has absentmindedly acquired that have bypassed her sister. With this realization, Mama also realizes that she has misappropriated her pride in her daughters by failing to previously see the stronger quality in Maggie's humility.

I think the quilt may also represent another ideal. It may not be coincidental that the object at hand is not any other object, not even any other type of blanket- but a quilt. A quilt is made up of different patterns, different colors, different textures, but all sewn into one. The quilt represents difference, but a oneness in that difference. I think that it would be fair to say that the story addresses a change in society, and the confusion and struggle of establishing a truly African-American culture. Early in the story Dee almost seems as though she is eager to separate herself from her home life, ready to establish herself in a new era, free of oppression. Dee appears to have everything but what she crucially lacks is her own identity. Dee was so eager to detach herself from her inherited lifestyle, that she had missed the entire point. As philosopher Jean Baudrillard said, “It is always the same: once you are liberated, you are forced to ask who you are.” The quilt, as well as Dee herself, represent a struggle in cultural identity with African-Americans, as well as many other ethnic groups.

Analyze the opening two paragraphs of the story to show how they set the tone and establish the tension of the story.

In the first paragraph of the story Mama speaks of only of the yard, which she describes in detail with much imagery. She uses many adjectives such as, clean, wavy, comfortable, hard, fine, tiny, and irregular. She also uses many natural terms; yard, clay, sand, tree, and breezes. The yard is simple, and yet Mama speaks with great pride in regards of it. There is a reflective tone to this opening paragraph as indicated to me by the first line, “I will wait for her in the yard that Maggie and I made so clean and wavy yesterday...(Walker, 87).” Also, the last line of the paragraph indicates the same, “...anyone can come and sit and look up into the elm tree and wait for the breezes that never come inside the house (Walker, 87).” The words, 'yesterday' and 'never' used in both the opening and closing line signify that Mama is to some extent, reminiscing. The tone changes in the second paragraph to create a more somber and dismal feel. The syntax of the paragraph is conducive to this, using such words as; hopelessly, homely, ashamed, envy, and awe.
The first two paragraphs establish a sense of tension in the story through their tone. At first we are introduced to a sense of simplicity, yet pride in that simplicity. Next we are introduced to the opposite, a sense of abashment in the character of Maggie. There is some foretelling of a character whose pride and decadence is the reason for these feelings of belittlement in Maggie. The pride of this character seems to contradict the humility of Maggie, and the seeming decadence of this character could potentially contradict the simplicity presented in the first paragraph. It seems that these two contradictions will manifest into the primarly element of conflict later on in the story.

Soneto español

Dígame lo que usted desea de decir,
No hay nada que yo no sé, así-
Crea lo que usted desea creer,
Usted no encontrará verdad en mí.

La honradez verdadera no es de saber verdad-
Para bailar un baile irónico.
La verdad será silenciosa mientras preparad,
Para ser mano y mano con el diablo.


"¿Puedo tener este baile?"
Es verdad para el amor ablandamos.
Aunque usted lo confie,
Es cierto, no hay verdad en nosotros.

Es cierto,
Fe es todo tengo.


tell me what you desire to tell
there is nothing that I do not know
believe what you wish to believe
you will find no truth in me

real honesty is to know no truth
to dance an ironic dance
The truth will be silent while you prepare
to be hand and hand with the devil

"Can I have this dance?"
it is true for love we soften
Although you trust it
It is certain, there is no truth in us

it is certain,
faith is all I have.





















Awaken

A Call to Apathy

In literary terms, there is a first person narrative point of view called 'stream of consciousness' that I particularly like. It often lacks traditional sentence structure and grammatical validity. I like it because it extends on the first person perspective by not omitting the absurd and irrational parts of the thought process. I like this because without that, any written form of expression would lack authenticity.

As usual, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Its been two solid weeks now that I've fought against having another bad anxiety attack...but I really doubt I'm going to win this battle. The only explanations I have are random sentences I scribbled down on countless pieces of scrap paper for the past couple of weeks. I really have an issue with putting into perspective whatever it is my conscious is trying to tell me- that's really the only reason I've ever liked to write in the first place.

Liz told me once that since she's known me I've lost my mind at least twice a year. She's right. And in fact, I remember the nervous breakdown I had last year around this time. I even found the old blog I wrote about my paranoia, dated November 4th, almost exactly one year ago. I've become pretty good at keeping my anxiety at bay, but it seems that every November and March the anxiety of the past year suffocates me all at once. I'm not even so sure that I could call this anxiety. Actually, it's all most the opposite.

Nothing is weighing down on me.

I can't even recall the last time I really put my heart into something. If I had to guess I would say a little over a year and a half ago. Since then, I've mastered a new art. The art of indifference. What's so great about indifference....its equivalent to nothing. There are always two sides to every spectrum, love-hate, beauty-ugliness, life-death, et cetera. You can manage to find a balance between anything, however, indifference is the anti balance. When I was barely a teenager, the therapists my mom dragged me to were convinced I was bi-polar. As you can imagine, I suffered a lot from extremity. I loved it though. I loved to feel. I never went to get a psychiatric assessment test because I didn't want the drugs. I might drive myself a little crazy, but I'd rather have been crazy than numb.

I was so self righteous then.

But that was then. That was before I ever got involved with the situations that do real damage. I was my own person when I was young, I had a lot of feelings but they were mine, I didn't share them with anyone. And ironically, my mother took me to those counseling sessions because she told the psychologist, "She's cold hearted and emotionless, it's like she has no feelings," but yet the professionals told me the opposite, that my emotions were to extreme. Apparently I was a living paradox?

After going through all the hell that juvenile relationships bring you, and the final falling out between my parents and myself, I was done. Two years ago I started to drastically change my entire disposition. The result is what you see now. I'm independent, strong willed, smart, and social. What is my problem then? I've been uneasy with the direction I've been going for awhile, mentally and emotionally speaking anyway. No matter how I feel about something, I rarely take the initiative to act on it. I've gotten a lot of criticism for this, which is pretty justified. But it was never enough to make me reconsider the way I handle situations. I finally found something I could relate my point of view to. When I was reading some excerpts from Kierkegaard's journals I came across this, "I too have both the tragic and the comic in me: I am witty and the people laugh-but I cry...If I can continue with this to my last day in life, I shall have had my revenge." I couldn't highlight this fast enough. That's it, that's exactly it. It's exactly what I was trying to explain before, when there have been situations where someone may have been expecting me to seek some kind of revenge on them. Most people see my friendly disposition is a facade. How can I be being real when anyone else would be angry? My friendliness is always real. And I've talked about how I always get revenge before, but its different. Unlike most people I invite you to do whatever you wish to me, and I won't do a thing about it. Karmic retribution. People will fall apart on their own, with no assistance from myself. "Passive vengeance," is what I call it.

But now I'm suffering from my own karmic retribution. Maybe.

I'm cynical, apathetic, but I'm also scared. After days of wondering if maybe I've killed off the part of my spirit that genuinely cares about anything at all...I realized that the fact that I was concerned and scared and worried about it- proves that I obviously care about something. After all, if you're truly indifferent, no other emotions will survive.

And I'm self destructive. I'm completely self destructive. A lot of people are. I find that my reasons for being so might be a little different from most. I'm self destructive because I'm bored. I thrive on chaos, and I will completely fuck my world up- all for the sake of the story. All I've ever wanted to do was be some form of writer. Someone who could relate to other people, or teach lessons about things that someone may never have known. But all of this requires some sort of experience, and usually not the best of experience, but I take the good with the bad. As lame a metaphor as I can come up with, my life is like a still pond, and when its like a still pond, you can always count on me to be standing on the side of it throwing rocks- because I'm not interested in 'still', I'm not interested in 'peace', I don't want to watch something to do nothing. I want movement, I want cause and effect, I want some sign of life. It kind of reminds me of the title of a Chuck Klosterman book about the degenerative lifestyle of rock stars, cleverly titled with the oxymoron- "Killing yourself to live"...

Luckily I don't feel that any of this really reflects my disposition. I'm not very emotional, I'm very rational, and causing problems is not my objective. It seems interesting though, that those who appear most content are the most ill at ease.

Another reason, I've decided, that I live life by throwing caution to the wind... is simply because I can. I'm lucky. I've always been lucky. But a lot of people would argue with me over what exactly 'luck' qualifies as. To me, its me doing whatever I feel like while oftentimes passively evading the traditional consequences. I've determined, that I am lucky only because I have purpose, and this is a dangerous thought because if it were to be wrong, I will die a death that has no justification in it... and death, is the only thing that has ever really mattered to me in life.
But if I'm right, that I will continue to live truly and completely freely because there really is some sort of pattern to the universe, and in it lies some form of destiny.

As another result of my apathy, and probably the only best result, is that I finally am content with the perception of myself by others. I no longer care if anyone knows how I think or what I feel. I've come to appreciate this though some would say I'm not being genuine if I do not defend my integrity at all costs, or if I don't correct the wrongs done to me by others, or if I refuse to vindicate myself. I don't see it as a lack of authenticity on my part- I enjoy the mystery, after all.

Most of these minor yet quintessential revelations came to me on Friday afternoon, when I stood in my driveway in my pajamas and stared at the cows way out in the field as absolutely nothing caught my attention. But I was suddenly transfixed with thoughts of all the Friday afternoons I had ever had. I thought about how for 14 years of my life my Friday afternoons were almost always spent in a public classroom...which I only did because I had to and there was no other reason than that. I thought about how I had nothing most of my life so was never inclined to desire or demand, but still had dreams about when I had my first car, I would be happier...when I turned 18, I would be happier....when I graduated high school, I would be happier... when I had more money, I would be happier...when I moved out, I would be happier....and here I was having all ready acclaimed all of those things to some extend and still found myself less happy than I had probably been on any other given Friday afternoon. And though I hate to use the word this seemed like such a truly existential moment because I knew the only reason I had ever thought that any of those things would have made me happier is because I truly believe they would bring me more freedom, which they did. I had clearly associated the idea of freedom with the idea of happiness...and this was the unfortunate fallacy of the nature of my thinking. And I thought immediately about Satre saying that "every man is condemned to freedom"...and here it was another of those moments when some quote or saying I finally find myself completely relating to. Here I have more freedom than ever, and yet I am more discontent than ever.

So here I find myself discontent, apathetic, cynical, borderline passionless, self destructive, free...willing to sacrifice everything I have ever valued, my integrity, my pride, my emotions, my entire physical being...and here I am again to some extent justifying all of these things. But not because I'm being self righteous, but because, through the destruction I impose on myself, comes creation of new ideas...new realizations... new perspective...new understanding. And I must say that if I never were to have sacrificed myself for the sake of the story, I would never have come to be as understanding of other people as I now am. But above all, and the best and only reason I can really defend any of this behavior, is because ironically, I've only become everything I've ever wanted to be.